just a little heat (deagan)

[LJ TROSK]

let's close our eyes & pretend
this night'll never end.

-- one of the best places in town was the thrift store. i absolutely love it. there was always something new for me in there. a trinket, some clothes, & maybe a camera to add to my collection. i come in here so often, the owner, joe foreman, & i are on a first name basis. he always hooks me up, but probably because he's such a nice guy & not because i come in there all of the time, but who knows? now, big thrift isn't for everyone. some people like paying the extra money & walking in & out of a store. but i'm the kindof girl that like character in clothes, not brands. i love the hunt of a great, charactered item. nearly half of my wardrobe is thrift. does that tell you any thing?

-- this late morning, i walked into big thrift, greeted by the ding of the doorbell & joe himself. hey, lily. adults seemed to like lily or lily jane better than lj. what are you digging for today? this man was pretty great. i mentally considered him to be a close uncle. odd. i liked the dusty smell trapped inside this place. you only recognized it the first few moments after your entrance; it was a scent you easily got used to. just browsing, like always. i said with a smile. i never have anything pictured. if i find something that tickles me, i buy it. that was my mission as always. let me know if you need anything then. the owner replied. & after a last smile, he walked to the back.

-- i looked at the clothes first. i found some items that really caught my eye, but i wasn't in the mood for the right now. i wanted.. a trinket. something small i could put on my bookshelf at home. i looked at the small items, picking some up & rubbing them. i'm weird about textures. gotchya. the second i saw it, it was in my mental shopping cart. a sculpture of an elephant. it fit in both of my hands. it had a faded-out teal color to it. i think it was glass, but i wasn't sure. i flipped it over & noticed it had a felt bottom. there was a circle the popped out. hm, a elephant bank. yep. when i flipped it back, there was a slit in it perfect for storing coins. the price was two dollars. perfect. in a content state, i wandered around the shop, looking for anything else.

[DEAGAN LANE MADDOCK]

deagan loved the thrift store. for two reasons: one, they always had unique stuff that no one else would have, and two, mostly everything was under five bucks. anything that he would be buying, at least. as a young guy attending community college and paying his rent, there wasn't a lot of extra money for things such as clothing. but diggy did the best with what he had, and was actually a sharp dresser. although, he did always manage to afford a new tattoo when he wanted one. priorities, priorities. anyways, diggy hadn't been shopping for clothes in a good while. it had finally snowed and his winter coat that he'd had since high school was finally about worn out. he wouldn't have minded the stains, but the holes were starting to get big enough to let cold air right in. he'd remembered that big thrift had practically an entire wall of black pea coats the last time he'd been in, so he wanted to go there first.

entering the building, he stomped any excess snow from his shoes and shivered a bit. the warmth of the inside seemed to make him realize just how cold he'd been. the store's owner greeted him with a friendly smile and wave, as usual. diggy was sure that the man recognized him by now, but the two had never struck up a conversation due to deagan's shyness. so he simply returned the smile and headed straight for the wall of coats. it was exactly how he'd remembered it, and he found the pea coat he had been picturing in a matter of seconds. shrugging his old one off, he took the coat off of it's hanger and tried it on, not even glancing at what size it might be. perfect fit. and perfect price too, eight dollars. probably the best deal on a warm coat he'd be able to find. plus, he loved it already. pea coats suited his style exactly. he placed the new coat back on it's hanger and pulled his old one back on, still cold from driving over here in his car with no heater.

while he was here, deagan figured he'd look around. there always seemed to be interesting things in every nook and cranny. and the place was practically a warehouse, one could spend an entire day just getting lost in everything. wandering through the store today, he saw most of the usual antiques, collectibles, rare stuff, and just plain junk. he came to the aisle of old records, just browsing. diggy didn't really know anything about records or record players, but he always found them fun to look at. of course he didn't actually recognize many of the artists, they were mostly ones his parents had listened to. he decided to move on and made his way out of the shelves and back to the center aisle. coming around the corner, he practically ran into a girl who he happened to know. his face lit up when he realized who she was. "LJ!" deagan was certainly more than pleasantly surprised to see her. he opened his arms, motioning for a hug. "how are you?"

[LJ TROSK]

let's close our eyes & pretend
this night'll never end.

-- as i browsed a collection of random trinkets that seemed to be antiques in the thrift store, i was lost in my own world. thoughts spiraled & hovered in my head. it was like my head was divided in two. there was my thought system back there; it was taking over most of my attention. it was sucking me down into a whirlpool of my own mind. & there was the section that was allowing me to function normally & think about my actions & what i was seeing. a nifty little magnifying glass that was so.. ancient. there was a cute pocket watch. you know, the ones that flipped open like a locket. & so on. i was lost in thought, but not zombied-out either. a meditative state.

-- lj! & just like that, i snapped out of my little zone. who wouldn't come back to full attention when they hear their name being called? it was like i was being electrocuted. startled, i jumped slightly. remembering i was holding my little elephant bank, i tightened my grip. i spun my head to the direction of the call & immediately smiled. deagan! i replied, my eyes bright & my smile ear to ear. how are you? his voice was a lullaby to my ears. he opened his arms for me & i nearly leaped inside them. i wrapped my arms around him tight, giving him a bit of a squeeze. before letting go, i snuck in a quick sniff. something about deagan's natural scent was intoxicating. i really hoped he hadn't heard that..

-- i'm fine! just looking around. i replied, smiling up at him. he makes me happy when skies are grey. how are you? i honestly did want to know. if he wasn't one hundred percent happy, i'd do anything to get him there. he had a special place in my heart, one that was considerably big. he was my best friend. & i couldn't help but hold his gaze a little too long & stand a little close to him. little things like that were what i craved.

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[DEAGAN LANE MADDOCK]

deagan squeezed lj tight when she jumped into his arms. when she let go, he let his hand linger around her waist for a moment before dropping it to his side. his stomach had actually done a little flip when he had first seen her, and now his heart was beating abnormally. it had kinda crept up on him, but now it was obvious that lj was the best friend he had. deep down, he knew something else was going on. but his mind refused to admit it. he was still mourning the loss of marlee. there was no way he was ready to move on. it had only been a year. he still loved his fiance, and he always would. she took up so much room in his heart that there would never be room for anyone else. at least, that's what deagan tried to convince himself of. he'd known marlee for almost his entire life, and being with someone else would be betraying her in the worst way. even though she was six feet under, he still felt he had to be loyal to her. it was his fault that she wasn't still here, anyways. he owed her at least that much.

"i'm pretty good. i finally got a new coat to replace this ancient one." he held up his arm with the coat hung over it for her to see. he really was impressed with how financially smart he was being these days. a new coat, for only eight bucks. that was a deal. just the kind he needed while trying to pay for college and a place to live. diggy met lj's eyes again, "what exactly are you looking for?" he glanced down at the small object in her hand for half a second. it appeared to be some sort of glass figure maybe? he wondered what lj could possibly want with that. who knew though, she was always finding cute little trinkets and putting them to good use. she seemed to have a knack for that. man, and she really was pretty too. with her long red hair and gorgeous eyes. she was beautiful, actually. deagan seemed to be noticing that more and more often as the two got to be even closer friends. he found himself just looking at her sometimes, he couldn't keep his eyes away.

[LJ TROSK]

let's close our eyes & pretend
this night'll never end.

-- i'm in love with deagan maddock. there, i admitted it. i'd been trying to ignore the feelings i got in my stomach when i saw him for a while now. trying to ignore the smile the stretched so far across my face. the flittery thing my heart did. the way all of my attention wrapped around him - his actions, his words, everything. the way i craved to get closer, to hug longer, to just give it up & kiss the kid. why fight it anymore? so much effort to be in denial. now what was the point of that? it was obvious how i felt towards him, but only to me. of course, i'd still try to hide this dirty little secret from him. i wouldn't ever risk the friendship we have together. he's my bestfriend. no, he's my rock. my shoulder to cry on & to laugh on. he was always there for me & i wouldn't want that to change. i love this kid in many, many ways.

-- i'm pretty good. i finally got a new coat to replace this ancient one. his voice was so familiar it was like i'd known him for my entire life. of course, i haven't. we haven't been best friends for very long, but it felt like we were best friends from birth. i watched him as he held up his thrifty find. a pea coat. i liked pea coats, i had a few at home somewhere. oh, & deagan looked gorgeous in them. he always looked that good, though. i smiled, though didn't say anything. my thoughts wandered to deagan in his "new" pea coat. & to a few other scenarios including him & myself. i could really get lost in this place. what exactly are you looking for? i snapped back to reality. god, i day dream too much.. it was so rude of me to do that. sometimes i couldn't help it. it was sortof an involuntary action, like blinking. often, losing myself in my mind was a mental or emotional vacation for me. a defense mechanism. today, it wasn't though. just me being me.

-- i'm never really searching for anything. i replied, looking up at him with sincere green eyes. i felt a spark as our eyes locked & i couldn't help but blush slightly. the flush rose through my body, my body temperature raising. my fingers pushed a red lock out of my eyes. i just like to look around & if anything catches my eye, i usually buy it. nervously, i chewed on my bottom lip a bit. they were usually chapped, dry, & rough. today, however, they were smooth. i supposed they were getting better since i've been trying to care for them more. no one wanted to kiss lips like that. they wanted luscious, soft lips. i then remembered the little knick knack i found & held it up to show him. i found this. it's an elephant bank. i said with a slight giggle, rotating the trinket in the light for him to see.

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